Looking back on all the years.
Years in which I helped nurture, guide, teach and protect the most beautiful little beings.
I count them---fourteen children in all.
Nearly twenty years as a nanny.
Worked for several different families. Lived with some of them.
Each family felt like a part of my own.
Some parents were cruel. Unreasonable. Frightening to both myself and their children. Selfish. Dishonest. In some instances, even mentally unbalanced. I take these memories and store them in a safe place. Don't like to think about them very often, but I'm aware that I cannot allow myself to forget what I've experienced. Not even the negative things.
Other parents were dreamy. Kind. Decent. Honest. Grateful to have me in their lives. I am still in contact with these parents...even years later. I take these memories and store them in the safest place of all...in my heart.
And then there are the children. Sweet miraculous and brilliant. Little beams of joy. Every single memory of them is solid and clear as a bell.
This is a gift I will take with me throughout my life...the knowledge that I was fortunate enough to be able to touch the lives of these extraordinary beings.
And all of them have returned my efforts with love. Cuddles, songs, jokes, pure silliness and absolute love.
Which brings me to today.
I am working a relatively new nanny job. Live-out. The tiny one, who I'll call "Muffin" (because she is very sweet and very round) is a wonder. Very gifted child. Totally engaged with the world around her. Connected to everything. Very beautiful and such a pleasure to care for.
Her father is a total mensch. A seriously good person. Treats me like a human being. Is excited to be a parent, and grateful to have a quality nanny looking after his daughter.
The mother is such an incredible parent. Very devoted to her little girl. Wants the best for her and treats her like gold. She often tells me that she worries she won't be an adequate parent. That she'll "do something wrong" and "mess up" her child. I spent quite a lot of time, especially in the beginning, calming Muffin's mommy. Letting her know that her instincts were on target. Watching her gentle approach and attention to detail with Muffin makes me proud to be her nanny.
That being said...there are issues.
Muffin's mommy has never had a nanny before and this is a bit of a problem.
I've discovered (much to my surprise) that Muffin's mommy actually expects me (and Muffin's daddy, and anyone else in the vicinity) to prevent Muffin from ever having an accident of any kind. Ever. This child is expected never to fall down. Let me repeat: this child is expected never to fall down!!
Never to skin her knee.
Never to bump herself.
Never, never, ever.
And if Muffin does have an accident (which she rarely does, by the way), Muffin's mommy loses her composure
. She becomes very anxious and has on a couple of occasions been quite rude and insulting toward both me and her husband...insisting that every "owie" can be prevented. I can tell she's aware that her behavior is inappropriate...she looks a bit ashamed of herself after she does this.
Anyone reading this who has spent any significant time with a child knows how ridiculous this is. We know EVERY child skins his or her knees once in a blue moon. EVERY child falls down and gets an "owie".
It's a part of life.
It's my job to do everything humanly possible to safeguard against serious injury.
But it is not my job (nor is it even reasonable) to prevent the child from coming into contact with the real world...with gravity.
She's going to run. She's going to play. (I think of all the nannies I see at the park with their charges strapped into strollers...never allowing the children to play...perhaps these nannies have employers who expect their children to remain "untouched" by the real world as well...makes me wonder).
She's going to leap, twirl, sing, dance, holler, laugh, fall down, get back up and then do it all over again.
I'll be there to keep her safe, but I'm no magician.
I'm always ready...with my CPR training, my college education, my compassion, my sense of humor, my collection of kid's songs and games, my guitar, my poems, my loyalty and a jumbo box of bandaids...the "ouchless" kind, of course.
We'll see how things go with Muffin's mommy. If she can relax and learn to enjoy the imperfections of her own child, of parenting, of the real world...I may stay with them for quite some time.
But if she continues to approach me with disrespect whenever her child bumps an elbow (or anything else is "imperfect" in her world), I'll be forced to take one of the other nanny jobs the agency keeps begging me to take.
I hope it doesn't come to this.
Time will tell.